Negative vibes in the Muslim community

Mariam Sobh Hijab Fashion and Hijab Style Blog

What is it about the Muslim community that we find it OK to be judgmental toward one another?

And by Muslim community, maybe I should specify that it’s a global community.

Why do we feel that the whole role of “giving advice” or “helping to guide your brothers and sisters” means that we can turn it into a gossip fest?

I see people posting things all the time with something that is supposed to sound like an advice piece, but really comes off as a backhanded judgement call.

Personally, I’ve come to a point where I don’t really pay attention to the negative vibes that are sent my way on an almost daily basis via Hijabtrendz.

There are too many ignorant people parading themselves as Muslims and I honestly don’t have time to respond to each and every one of them. It’s exhausting and I’m done with being defensive.

I’ve come to the point that I finally understand that what it all comes down to is that either they are:

A: internet trolls trying to stir the pot or

B: an insecure person who feels somehow threatened by those who get to choose the path they take in life.

I recently read an article that really addressed this topic by saying that often times people who get angry when you have religious differences… are not really angry, but they are afraid!

And I thought, that’s totally it!

We often don’t know how to respond to certain situations that disrupt our point of view.

I mean what would you do if you found out something you grew up thinking was true, turned out to be a lie?

You would be angry of course! And then you would most likely feel scared because what else in your life is now a lie?

So I try to imagine these negative people who are never happy and I try to understand where they are coming from and this is what I have concluded:

Negative people are often deeply insecure. And deeply insecure people are often negative.

What can we do to change that if we find ourselves on this self destructive path?

Let go of worrying about what everyone else is doing, let go of worrying about what other people think of you.

Be proud of who you are and where you come from, and don’t let people push you in a corner because THEY haven’t figured out how to get out of this cycle.

And that is now how I try to live my life.

It’s not perfect and there are times when I feel myself slipping into negative thinking.

I often worry that whatever I do will make fans of the website turn against me, because it’s not what THEY think is the perfect representation of a Muslim woman.

But, it’s important to recognize that thought pattern and get out of it.

I know that I can’t please everyone and I’ll never be the “perfect” Muslim that people somehow seem to think I have to be. Trust me I get comments all the time on how I’m leading Muslim women astray.

Bottom line: I’m going to be myself, and if people are not able to handle that, they can go be miserable somewhere else, because I will not allow myself to slip down to their level.

Thanking God for the blessings we have, spreading peace, love, happiness and putting out good into the world is way more important than whether a piece of cloth is worn correctly on the head, or even if it’s worn at all.

This article has 5 comments

  1. Mariam Sobh

    Thank you for taking the time to read the post, I really appreciate it 🙂

  2. Nahda Designs

    I couldn’t agree more!! Thank you so much for being courageous enough to say these desperately needed words! So many of us feel the same way, we should start training sessions on the art of living a positive lifestyle. Part of it is knowing we will never be perfect and being okay with it, fearing only Allah (swt) and not the people and being of the patient and the forgiving (that which is loved by Allah).

    I see it all too often, Muslim women tearing down their fellow sister in Islam. How are we supposed to be of benefit to the ummah if we keep pulling one another down? Thank God for sisters like you who promote peace and positive vibes! <3

  3. Mariam Sobh

    Thank you Jodi for continuing to read and follow the blog 🙂 Your comments are a joy to read!

    NoraNour thanks for commenting! I agree with everything you said 🙂 why aren’t there more people like us online? or in the world for that matter? lol

  4. NoraNour

    This couldn’t have been said any better!!! You are not alone and I feel the same way!! It’s honestly no one business except the person and God. You will never make everyone happy. You will always have people with negative comments and they just need to be ignored. It’s all about what is in your heart and your intentions. No one has the same struggles and strengths. Someone should not judge by appearance and if they do they need to grow up and open their minds. Everyone grew up differently with different culture.

  5. Jodi

    Bravo! Well said Mariam! I honestly agree 100% with you and I am so glad that I can see through all of this negativity, ignore it and still go my own way and be proud of who I am….no matter what anyone else thinks. It’s only Allah who matters most and if I am content in my heart that I am doing everything I can to please Him and honor my family, then no one else has the right to judge. I have seen so many people, women in particular spend their days judging and a lot of it is based on ignorance or cultural things that have nothing to do with Islam, but they were told it does! So sad! The best thing to do is to ignore these people and not fuel their ignorance. They are afraid indeed. Some are also jealous. They have their own inward demons so to speak. They will always see the ‘wrong’ (in their eyes) and rarely pay attention to the good. It’s sad because they could have so much more peace if they just stop looking at everyone else, and enjoy life! Thanks for posting this Mariam, it was long overdue dear heart! Oh, and by the way, nothing you have ever printed or said has ever led me astray! It would be absurd to even suggest that! 🙂 In fact, you have brightened my life, inspired and taught me many new things. Allah hafiz! xxoo

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