Solitude is Amazing

 Posted by at 10:04 pm  Add comments
May 292012
 

Mariam Sobh Hijab Fashion and Hijab Style Blog

I’ve been craving solitude lately.

It gives me time to think and reflect on my life.

The best time to do this is when I go running outside. There is just something that draws me into nature and I’m blessed to live near Lake Michigan which is so beautiful.

During this time I just take in all the amazing miracles of the trees, grass, water, and wildlife. I find it so relaxing and I wish sometimes I could stay out there all day!

Life has been tough lately with transitioning back to work and the never-ending guilt of not being there for my daughters 24/7. My husband will probably be out of work again for an unknown amount of time and the solitude gives me a chance to run away from it all.

I’m not sure how each person deals with stress, but for me this is a great way for me to find myself and not get lost in the day to day issues.

The other issue that I’m constantly battling is my views on hijab and where I stand on the issue. I know I’ve brought it up before, but for some reason I just can’t let it go. I’m not sure if it’s because there is something else bothering me and I’m assuming it’s the hijab?

I also decided to start seeing a therapist. I’ve been feeling down for some time and can’t quiet figure out what it is. Maybe it’s just living a stressful life with a lot of unknown things. Or maybe it’s because I still harbor a lot of resentment and anger toward the way I learned Islam.

One thing is for sure, I highly recommend seeing a therapist for anyone! It’s nice to be able to vent to someone outside of the family who can listen from a totally neutral standpoint. While family offers great advice and opinions, I think that sometimes they can become too emotional about things ;).

prairie

The prairie I ran through this weekend in Urbana, IL.

I’m also trying to work with my therapist to reduce my stress and anxiety. I often get really anxious these days when I have to be in new situations that I haven’t experienced before. I also beat myself up about what people think of me or if I’ve offended someone or if I’m doing things to make them happy or not. I’ve got to learn to let go and not worry about anyone because it’s not worth my time to get so wrapped up.

The reason I’m sharing all this? Because I want you to know that if you are going through a tough time, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m confident I will find the solution to my issues and it may take some digging, but I’d rather deal with it now than continue to live my life wondering what is bothering me.

How do you deal with tough times?

  6 Responses to “Solitude is Amazing”

  1. I usually don’t do well with stress, I’ve been trying to walk and run more and this is really helping me.

  2. I read Qur’aan with translation. I know there’s a solution to my problems in it. I just haven’t looked hard enough!
    InshaAllah you’ll find a solution to your problems.

  3. Getting out in nature helps me de-stress as well and calm down, though I prefer walking to running. I find that if I take time regularly it can help with my anxiety, though I could definitely use some more solitude sometimes! I love my little son so much, but as a single parent, it’s hard to ever really be “alone” and even when I am I start to worry about him and it’s hard to just relax! I’m glad to hear you’re taking the time to do this and also talking to the therapist. I completely agree that sometimes it’s helpful to talk to somebody who isn’t emotionally invested in you… sometimes we have so much tendency to think about other people’s feelings so much that you end up curtailing your own expression extensively to avoid hurting them, or you feel guilty if you do “unload”, plus you have to be around them more and live with it if you feel like you said too much. Talking to a therapist avoids these issues. There was a time I did this and I resisted it a LOT beforehand but it was a good idea and now I don’t think of it as such a big deal, just another option that I can always revisit if I need to do so. Regarding your struggles with hijab, whenever I have an item in Islam that starts to bother me in some way or I feel uncomfortable about what I’ve heard, the solution always seems to be research. I read quranic references to the topic and different hadiths. I also read different translations, interpretations, and commentary by a variety of people! (Arabic isn’t my first language, but since I can speak more than one language I KNOW how many differences can be inserted, even unintentionally, in translation). And frankly considering the differences of opinion on some verses even by native arabic speakers, there are also differences that can be introduced simply based on how arabic has changed over time, context, usage differences, etc. There are also some areas that are very specific and others that Allah has left more open as gift for us. Gathering this info helps me think about it and consider different sides of an idea, and in thinking and praying about it after the research usually I find a sense of peace and understanding about the topic for the time being. Sometimes I find an answer that is unquestionable to me, other times the answer is not something black and white, but getting to a place where I feel peaceful and comfortable that I am doing the right thing in the view of Allah.

  4. @Dawn yes exercise is such a great stress reliever!
    @Zaynub thank you for the advice! :)
    @qatheworld I appreciate you taking the time to write your thoughts. Research is definitely something I need to do. I guess I’ve gotten lazy because I’m used to people telling me and going off of their instincts lol.

  5. I think that as you get older you can go through many different ‘season’s’ of life. When you have an extremely structured life, it’s very hard to think outside the box or to allow your mind and heart to receive the gift of something new, aka new thoughts, experiences, it’s a good thing, but people often see it as bad because it’s different and can be life changing. It can be refreshing and wonderful! Sometimes I feel that our life can be like an anchor. An anchor can be comforting in that it can hold you locked and secure in your life in everything you perceive to be true and good, but it can also be a hindrance keeping you from using the full abilities and mind capacity that Allah has given you. So often people have to decide what their life is and which way is it going. Questions like, “Am I really living the full life I want to have?”, “Am I being all that I can be?” This in itself can cause a lot of stress. It can also be an eye opener to everything about your and your life, which can be a bit scary even. What I’ve realized is that no matter what, Allah is bigger. Bigger than everything and sometimes what we think and know as ‘truth’ in our world is not always 100%. We have to strive for inner peace with all that we know in order to live a more full and stress-free life. I hope I am not being confusing because I’m really trying to provide some good insight. Just be YOU! Enjoy life and do what you feel is the best thing for you because your heart is what matter’s most. Allah will always be there for you…and guide you. ?

  6. I guess it’s late to respond to this post, but I also find exercise to be a benefit. My best way of getting away from it all is painting (art painting). That gives me a feeling of being in control, because I make all the decisions about what stays in the painting or what goes. It’s things like job loss that really get to me because it becomes impossible to have a reasonable expectation of planning and controlling your life. Although Allah is the Planner, we are supposed to have plans and goals.

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