Behind the screen: The motherhood competition

Behind the Screen

It’s one thing to be a woman, we’re so darn competitive. It’s another to be a mother, you somehow become the expert on life and no one else knows it like you do!

The reason I’m writing this is because I’ve noticed after my first kid that mom’s are the most competitive folks on the planet. It’s such a huge topic that could go on forever, but I’m going to try and stay focused I promise!

Last week I wrote about my birthing experience, but what I didn’t include in that was this whole thing that goes down between women when they talk about it.

There is always this question, “Did you have it natural or did you get an epidural?”

I’m not sure if some women want to feel that it’s OK to get pain relief so they are curious to see what route you’ve taken or if it’s because someone who’s gone the “natural” route wants to brag about it?

With my first child it was my goal to try and do it without any pain medication. My mom did that with 5 kids and so I figured it would be easy. Boy was I wrong! No matter how much you try to prepare yourself not to be too prepared, it ends up out of your control. Needless to say I got the epidural. It was instant relief, and thank God for that! But I wasn’t prepared for the competition afterward.

I met various women with kids and they’d all act like such heroes, “I was in labor for 2 weeks and never took a single pain reliever!” “I was pushing for 10 hours and didn’t take a drop of an epidural!”

And on and on it goes.

Why do we have to do this to each other? Birth is a miracle. Why do we have to try and act like if you can give birth pain free then you’re better than others?

My second birth was natural and it was amazing. But I don’t think I could have done it if it wasn’t as fast as it was. I’ve been on both sides, and they each yielded the same result. A baby.

That’s one topic that mom’s get competitive about. There are so many more… here is a list in random order:

Breastfeeding
Co-sleeping
Healthy food
Best schools
Getting into the right preschool/daycare
Organic everything
Immunizations

If you’re not a mom I apologize for this rant that may seem extremely random. It’s just that I feel we need to chill a little bit.

We’re all trying our hardest, and we really don’t need someone to make us feel worse. I already have doubts about whether I’m a good mother, I don’t want to hear anymore stories about how awesome someone is and how amazing their kids are, because deep down we all know it’s not true. There is no such thing as perfection.

I’d like to leave you all with a scene from an old episode of Desperate Housewives where Lynette freaks out because she is overwhelmed by her kids. When her neighbors come to comfort and talk to her, they confess that they too have times when they cry at night because they also get overwhelmed.

Lynette then says, “You made motherhood look so easy, why didn’t you ever tell me this?”

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